ASMR Canadian MRE

Imagine an American soldier on the battlefield. He is wounded, thirsty and hungry after a long walk through the Appalachian Mountains. At one point he stopped, and looked at the slope covered in burned by July Sun soil. There it was. Paper bag with a welcoming inscription: ”Indian chicken breast”

”If that is what I’m thinking it is, I’ll be saved” He thought to himself

He picked it up and start examining with his large dusty hands.

”I’m such a lucky guy. If it was beef or pork my red meat intolerance surely wouldn’t allow me to enjoy this meal, but I have chicken instead! ” He breathed a sigh of relief

His exhaustion seemed to be flushed away by a sudden secretion of dopaine his brain started to produce because of knowing what is about to happen in a while.

He grabbed his knife and opened the package vigorously. His breathing stopped for a second when he was searching for the main course. He quickly read the instruction and then dumped everything from the bag on the ground.

”Where the heck is the flameless heater or the stove with fuel tablets? It has to be somewhere here. My guts are dying for something warm to eat.”

Poor canadian soldiers. He pictured Minister of National Defence sitting at his desk with a cigar in one hand and a mocking smile on his face. Honey is too good for a bear.

”Screw it! I’m so hungry that I don’t mind eating it along with the package without even heating it up.” He murmured under his breath.

He ripped the bag open, and poured all of its contents right inside his mouth.

He choked on a chunk of meat.

”Cough! Cough! Oh yea! It tastes good, but not exactly like chicken. It is definitely a different kind of meat.” He frowned in confusion while chewing the meat

After a while his skin began to itch and he felt sudden waves of hot flashes coming at him.

”Oh no, it must have been pork or beef. Someone made a horrible mistake putting pork inside a package that says “Indian chicken breast” Now I’m gonna suffer and probably die here in pain.”

”At least let’s try to grab something sweet to make this moment a little bit more bearable.” He heard a voice inside his head

With the last bit of his strenght he managed to grab a small package. He looked at it and saw these two words on a khaki background:

”Pain hamburger”

”Damn it! I would rather eat a Martian MRE than the Canadian one.” He shouted at the top of his lungs.

Then he fell asleep and after a few hours was found by a Grizzly bear who decided to share some blueberries with a needy friend.

They became friends. The bear really likes when his buddy scratches his itchy back with a huge rake.

Having in the description all of the words such as: ”battlefield””, ”soldier”, ”wounded”, ”breast” and ”pain” this video will surely get demonetized, so please at least click the thumbs up button to make me feel a little bit better 😀 Thanks!

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